Happy Birthday, Edward - 110 Spankings Coming Up!

WARNING: For those of you prudes trying to stay pure for Breaking Dawn - there's a tiny little spoiler-y thingy at the end. Just wanted to warn you.

June 20th is the one day of the year when I'm reminded what a pervert I am. This year it's the day when Edward Cullen turns 17 for the 93rd time. The day that paints me as a fucking pedophile for lusting after this (magnificently beautiful) underage boy. And yes, I'm just twisted enough to risk the authorities showing up at my front door by lusting after the 17 year old -- not the 110 year old (although they did dress him this age in New Moon).

In celebration of Edward's 93rd 17th birthday, before we line up to give Edward his 110 spankings Twitarded style (you know, with lots of grabby hands), let's take a short trip down memory lane... and remind ourselves as to why we fell in love with him in the first place.



Dear Edward -- I'll never forget the first time I saw you walk through those doors. It was the first of many pairs of underpants... ruined. But in a good way.


If I had been in your Biology class... I would've been glad to let you eat me. IYKWIM


I hope you can read my mind. I'm thinking about sex. With you. Angry sex.


I'll say it in the throes of passion. Out loud. Really loud.


No one does that smirk any better. Are you going to spank me now? Is it my turn?


Sex strut... *gaspsputtergaspgaspded*


You were responsible for the orgasm heard 'round the world. Even with your wonky nipple. And air-brushed abs. Which I still want to lick.


No words...


Ok, maybe just three...


Lucky fucking bitch.

I can't wait until November. For it will be then that Edward gives us his greatest gift. A good bruising, headboard crumbling, thrusty fucking that I know I'll be happy to just witness -- even if I can't be at the receiving end.




HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EDWARD! I'd really love to give you a birthday blowjob so call me, 'mkay?

What are you all doing to commemorate this special day?Source URL: http://alohafred.blogspot.com/2011/06/happy-birthday-edward-110-spankings.html
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